When I was fifteen I had my own alien girlfriend. I found her in the west field one night; naked and unconscious. I didn't know how she could have gotten their with no ship or laser gun or anything like that around. I really looked hard for a laser gun.

I took her under my wing secretly, the farm was big enough for her to live comfortably yet undetected. I knew it was a girl because she had a purple vagina. Remember? She was naked.

Anyway, over the time of my nursing her back to health, we learned a lot from each other. I taught her simple words, and soon phrases so she could communicate with me and American Earth culture easier. Things like, "God damn it" "Fucking A" and "Not taco bell again". She in turn attempted to explain to me in great detail something of which I had no idea. That's when I realized I loved my alien, and I wanted to fuck her. She must have wanted it pretty bad too, cuz she really put it on me.

This went on almost two years, I spent all my free time with her, usually in the old barn. We agreed that, Xena Warrior Princess was a kick ass name for her. For short I just called her Z. She was the koolest chick ever, and she was my alien girlfriend.

One day I came home from my day job and went straight to Z, she was no where to be found. Like she just vanished. Only some weird circles burnt in the ground and a letter, explaining to me in great detail something of which I had no idea.
Any time I hear "You Know You're Right" by Nirvana, I'll always think of her.