Steven: "I'M TRYING TO PEE!"

Peridot: "What is this "pee" thing you speak of? Oh, you obviously mean to say "pump" as in "Pump-action", but your primitive species lack, among many things, a decent vocabulary. Well, I'm not going to let you use it! Give it me! I'm gonna take you down and get past those other clods and get off this stupid rock!"

Steven: "Whoa! Wai...stop! It's nothing like..Wha..!!"

Peridot: "This pathetic weapon is not working! Must be a charging weapon. If..I can..just...pump it some more...!

Steven: "Ohmyohmyohmyohmyohmyohmy!!!!"

Peridot: "Ha! Knew it! It's increase in size is showing it's charge level, how primitive. I'll be free in no time, once this thing is ready to discharge!"

Steven: "Nghhhhhh..oh oh! I think it's ready to discharge now!"

Peridot: "You know what? I'm gonna take myself out! I've got no chance getting off this rock and I'm not gonna let any of you clods have the satisfaction of capturing me again! Go ahead Steven, do what you mother could never do and finish of a gem!

*Places "primitive weapon" in her mouth*

Steven: "OhohohohCCCCOOKIECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!

*Pearl bursts open the door*

Pearl: "Steven! What have I told you about sneaking treats into the bathr.................STEVEN!!!

Steven: "Oh...Sorry Pearl, I'll remember to put my underwear in the hamper and not next to it.

The end

I almost want to make this into a comic.